DWICK (Jorgal Dwick)
}}InfraStruct |- style=background:#000000 |'Species:' | style="width:17em" | }Krogan |- style=background:#000000 | Age: | }~950 |- style=background:#000000 | Date of Birth: | }c. 1250 |- style=background:#000000 | Occupation: | }"Electrician" |- style=background:#000000 | Location: | }Port Hanshan, Noveria |- style=background:#000000 | Marital Status: | }None |- style=background:#000000 | Height: | }9'1" |- style=background:#000000 | Weight: | }"AW, HELL NAW" |- style=background:#000000 | Relations: | }Jorgal Freyt (Daughter) |- style=background:#000000 | Affiliations: | }Murtag Kirok, Lepantis Corvax, Albert Lowell, Terrorbyte, Clint van Wallach, Niamh Callaghan |} "Nah, tried it a couple of times. Got nuttin' more'n a crumpled spine, few shattered teeth, a limb anna half torn off...1423 was a bitch of a year." Jorgal Dwick, AKA InfraStruct, is an old, fat, rude, crude krogan that supposedly works as an electrician at Port Hanshan, Noveria. In reality, however, Hanshan Administrators employ him to do external repair work and construction. They do this for four major reasons: * Being a krogan means he doesn't need much protection, * He can to perform delicate operations, * It keeps him out of their hair for a bit. amd * If they're lucky, he'll fall through an iceberg and get out of their hair once and for all. For the past 40 years, however, this strategy has failed to work - indeed, Dwick has become more decadent in his lifestyle. After all, he has all he needs and gets more income from his nigh-millenial bank accounts than he does actually working there. The only thing he's in short supply of is entertainment, which he manages to get anyway when experiments go awry. An old channer that butts heads with the Noveria Communications Bureau over bandwidth issues, Dwick is an avid HV fan and enjoys watching the more violent, Dadaist shows broadcast around the galaxy. A primary example of this includes The Life Egregious, though he's been known to tune into Dynasty Maker if it promises to be particularly ''humiliating to its contestants. He also spends his time trolling the Cerberus Daily News Forums, taking particular glee in annoying the vehemently anti-krogan Lepantis Corvax - who he views as krogan in all but species. As of now, however, he is on extended leave on the Citadel - ''allegedly ''to gather important resource materials for maintenance on the planet's many facilities, but really for more malicious (and asinine) reasons. It is unclear whether the NBB is outraged or relieved by this development. Dwick is far from the brightest crayon in the box, and stubbornly sticks to his first impression of people. As such, he'll always think of the late Clint van Wallach as "Tran'Darvas rich," Corvax as the lovable son he never had, and the deeply intimidating Sirinic Scaramaji as simply "Steve, CEO of SteveCo." He also gleefully caves to his greedy nature, is seemingly incapable of feeling ''any ''deep emotion, and is almost always found with an impish grin on his face. Dwick is the (self-declared) record-holder for most Tupari consumed in one session, reaching 177 cans' worth over a period of 5.5 hours on live video before his camera was destroyed by The Krogantua. It is unclear whether he continued consumption, or indeed how many of his internal organs were destroyed in the process. DWICKCAST The DWICKCASTs are a series of poorly-planned, terribly-executed videos that Jorgal Dwick uploads to the extranet on a semi-periodic basis. The actions he takes therein are often legally questionable and ialways/i crass to some extent, the latest of which have finally made him a Person of Interest on the Citadel. Watching them is akin to watching a massively overdesigned SUV crash into a propane silo – the sheer spectacle is beautiful in the horror it inflicts upon your brain, and the camera used to record it is almost ''always destroyed in the process. Episode numbers seem to be utterly arbitrary; presented, therefore, is a list showing them in their chronological order. EP. 317 DWICK, DRINK THE TUPARI Dwick, on the urging of one Harrad Illum, procures a massive shipment of Tupari and proceeds to see just how much he can consume in one sitting. The results are mortifying. EP. 426 WITTY BANTERS’N SHIT After being called out by one Juhani Alaverta, Dwick arranges for a debate between the two of them to take place on the ice-cold planet of Noveria. However, a certain iother/i pair, unbeknownst to the two of them, throw their own wrench into the mix. The results are disturbing. EP. 491 LET’S OPEN A BOX After being pointedly left out of Aphin Protretho’s will, Dwick receives a package purportedly being his lawyer, stipulating that the contents therein are his to keep so long as he opens it in a public setting. Dwick, of course, adds his own laughter to the mix by doing it live in front of a restaurant he was barred from ever entering again. The results are hilarious. EP. 69 TER CATCH A BUCKET Dwick exercises his particularly trollish qualities to find a sexual predator on the extranet, explains the “tells” behind finding these particular individuals, and convinces him to meet in an undisclosed location (with the intent of “teaching” him the error of his ways.) The results are disconcerting. Dwicknames One of Dwick's favorite pastimes is giving people nicknames, and rarely ever refers to someone by their given name. Below is a list of the different things he's called people over the past several months: All Quarians - Buckets All Turians - Spikebutts All Volus - Kickballs Lepantis Corvax - Lawnmowers Silel DesGarniers - Bitchtits Johnny M'Sonna - Chuckles Aphin Protretho - Limbs, Frungy Clint van Wallach - Mustache, Tran'Mustache Sirinic Scaramanji - Steve (CEO of SteveCo) Murtag Kirok - Short-Order Cook (which is also the name of the varren he mailed Kirok) Terrorbyte - Vents Lyra Palmer - Blondie Urdnot Nutanx - 'WHELP WHELP WHELP WHELP WHELP WHELP WHELP WHELP WHELP ' WHELP Asharia T'Saeri - Blueballs The Krogantua - Wrasslin' Flower Wilde - Weeds Telos Mallenis - Pilot Light Arbitrary - Cybucket Aleksander Harris - Porn 'Stache Harrad Illum - Charity Case Emile Ó Bhroin - Spastic Clerk Janice Proctor - Hairball Albert Lowell - Screwball Juhani Alavirta - Screwball Jr. Eightball - Whacko Sacko Category:Krogans Category:Characters Category:Krogans Category:Krogans